The Most Loving Gift
“You’re not listening to me”, Cathy blurted. John was preoccupied with the sports page. “I heard you”, he halfheartedly responded. “Well, what do you think we should do with Billy?” The frustration was mounting in Cathy’s voice. “Do about what?”, John asked. “See, you’re not listening. You don’t really care about me at all”, exploded Cathy. One of the most loving and affirming gifts you can give your spouse is an attentive ear when […]
Christmas Planning
Christmas is a great time of year, especially if you’re a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney. That’s because the stresses of Christmas will test the marriage’s health. The choices of Christmas season can be overwhelming. Who’s going to get a card? Which tree? What decoration? Who gets what gift when? Where and with whom are we going to celebrate what? Then the biggie…How are […]
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
These days between Thanksgiving and Christmas can be filled with either lots of joy or loads of stress. What makes them happy or nerve wracking is all in how you as a couple plan to handle them. Many spouses struggle because one wants heavenly peace while the other wants to deck the halls. If you and your mate have different ideas about what makes […]
Thanking Our Spouse
Once a year we celebrate Thanksgiving which to many means football, butterball, and of course, Black Friday shopping. The giving thanks part has been relegated to a rather minor position. This holiday was founded by people who gave thanks to God on a daily basis. And now, as a nation, we struggle to focus on being thankful for just one day a year. Thanks and giving are both […]
4 Changes You Can Make to Strengthen Your Marriage
Have you ever asked yourself the question “Why do I always focus on the negative? Why can’t I see the good things that are happening in our marriage?” That’s a great question and we need to understand that if we keep dwelling on the negatives, we will eventually destroy our relationship. The key to breaking that cycle starts by changing four things in […]
What’s the Opposite of Love?
We see couples every weekend at our intensives that are struggling. Many say they aren’t in love with each other anymore. And that statement prompts me to ask one of my favorite questions, “What’s the opposite of love?” It’s always fun to watch them as their faces and hearts and heads all connect with a reflexive answer, and they quickly blurt out, “Oh, […]
Keeping Your Promises
I find it ironic that today’s headlines are all about politicians wanting to keep their promises this year as though it’s an unusual thing to do. Isn’t it amazing how we as a culture have become so lax in keeping our commitments as followers of Jesus Christ? We can be thankful that we have a promise-Keeping Heavenly Father. He’s promised to never leave us or forsake us, to forgive […]
It’s Now or Never
I love the oldies and there’s a line from a song that I often sing on retreats…it goes “It’s now or never.” Have you ever felt that way? You’re at a place in your life where you just feel that things aren’t where you want them to be and you need to make a change and now is the time or you’re never going to get it done. Lots of couples begin to feel […]
Greatest Marriage Lie
In my years of working with couples and talking about their marriages, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone declare that they’re leaving their spouse because I deserve to be happy in my marriage. God wants me to be happy, doesn’t he? Now, I understand the root of their reasoning. We serve a good God who wants to shower good things on […]
4 Questions to Becoming a Better Spouse
Living in a world of crumbling marriages, you probably ask yourself the question “Am I a good spouse?” And if you’re like me, you might say “I’m better than average.” But what does that mean? And do I only want to be just better than average? The real question is “How can I become the best spouse possible?” So here are four questions that are going […]