Is your marriage writing an emotional roller coaster? If so, you may be what Professor Murry calls the volatile couple.
Volatile couples, as their label implies, are unstable. Doing their marital dance on the devoted divorce borderline, spouses are like microwaves and flash freezers. Their emotions, whether positive or negative, instantly heat up and boil over or plunge as cold as ice rapidly. This couple can be intensely romantic and passionate one moment and burst into loud and heated, animated arguments the next. These couples can go either way when it comes to divorce, but the research says volatiles have more unhappy moments than joyful ones. Their feelings about their marriage are also caught in a cycle. They fluctuate from, “Hey, we’re doing great” to “We’ll be okay if we can just get through this one issue” to “We’re done, it’s over. I can’t take this anymore”.
So what can a couple do?
First thing they can do is understand that volatile emotions have physical or emotional root causes. You may want to see a medical or counseling professional to help you get to the bottom of those out of control emotions.
Second, unresolved conflicts can lead to anger issues. You want to seek help in developing your communication and conflict resolution skills.
Third, stop waiting for things to get better. Don’t listen to your thoughts that “We’re okay”. Realize that just hoping for a change is not an effective strategy for dealing with problems. Set a plan of action.
Fourth, you may be able to take those steps of action by yourself, even if your spouse isn’t ready to join you in the process.
Fifth, understand that emotions are not bad. They’re a gift from God, but they do reveal what’s in your heart. Luke 6:4, says “The good person, out of a good treasure of his heart, produces good. And the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil. For out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks”.
And finally, pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help you get a control of your emotions. God wants you to experience His fruit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And those are great emotions that will build any marriage.
6 Practical Steps to Get Off the Marriage Emotional Roller Coaster
