When you find yourself engaging in a disagreement with your spouse, your instinctive goal is to craft your argument so that it makes a powerful impact, which typically means that some serious missile words are going to start flying out of your mouth. A missile is defined as an object that is forcibly propelled at a target carrying a conventional or nuclear explosive. So the goal of a missile word is to deliver a painful, hurtful message usually aimed at the heart of your spouse and not at the issue being discussed. We’ve identified several of these missile words that explode with great force, causing couples’ conflicts to escalate and leave a path of emotional pain and carnage. Let’s take a look at them…
The first two are the words always and never. These two favorites, you always or you never, attack the character of your spouse. The irony is that as soon as you launch always and never, your spouse starts searching for his or her radar screens for that one time they didn’t or did just to prove you wrong. But tragically, you’ve stopped trying to solve the problem together, become defiant, argumentative, and insensitive. These two words always escalate emotions and never lead to a resolution.
Third missile word is seriously, When we use seriously as a question, more often than not, we’re saying you can’t possibly mean what you just said because it was so absurd and or thoughtless that only a nitwit with half of a working brain would say it. And everyone knows the proper response to that is the last missle word…
“Whatever” your spouse says. Am I right? Your missile response? Whatever. This has the same effect as nails scratching across a chalkboard. It invalidates your spouse’s feelings and shows your total disdain for reaching a resolution and typically sets the stage for an unresolved conflict and hurt feelings. Proverbs 15:18 says, “A hot tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel.” Remember, the objective in resolving conflicts is reaching a win-win peace agreement, not the total destruction of your spouse through missile words.
