While doing our marriage intensives for couples who want to save their marriages, we’ve heard a lot of interesting reasons why they thought about ending their relationships.
Here’s a few…
We’ve drifted apart. This classic copout says, “We’ve lost those loving feelings and we’re too lazy to work to bring them back. It’s easier to find a new lover than it is to rekindle our marriage.” Wrong. Not only is this unbiblical, but research reveals that it’s easier to rekindle an existing marriage than it is to create and build a new one.
We fight all the time. Conflict is a good thing. It shows that there’s an emotional connection. We rarely fight with people we don’t have a relationship with. We want them to see things our way. So learning how to resolve conflicts actually builds intimacy, even when it means we’ve learned something new that upsets our spouse.
We flunked counseling. Counselors aren’t magicians. Be patient. Realize that the issues in your marriage have been festering for years and probably won’t be fixed in three or four sessions.
My parents never approved. I’m amazed when parents want to break up their kids marriages. Genesis 2:24 tells us that a man should leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Couples who can effectively distance themselves from parental control will reap the rewards of a stronger marriage.
We were young and foolish. Yes, young couples in love can make unwise decisions. So, you parents hearing this urge your kids to get pre-marital counseling. Be sure they’re confronted with the fact that marriage is a lifelong adult commitment.
God told me to marry someone else. I hope we all believe this is absurd. But I’ve heard it from a former pastor. Listen, God will never tell you to do something that clearly contradicts his word, the Bible.
If you’re having marital problems and think divorce is your only option..Stop and think again. Ask God to give you his wisdom and seek help from your Christian friends. Our Heavenly Father’s love and mercy may surprise you.
