Have you ever found yourself asking one of these questions? Am I the only one working on this marriage? Or what if my spouse is taking and never giving?
Or, I’m lonely, I’m unhappy and I want to call it quits? What should I do?
For some, calling it quits means living in the same house and experiencing a mutual co-existing marathon of misery. For others, calling it quits means separation or divorce. And before you travel down either one of these rocky roads, I’d like to ask you to contemplate three things.
First, remember your covenant with God and man. You probably said something like this on your wedding day…”To have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, poorer, for sickness, health, to love and to cherish till death do us part”. The day you and your spouse were married was the day you promised all these things to each other as you stood before God, your family, and your friends. Remember, this commitment you made was meant to be lifelong, and calling it quits would break an unconditional promise that you made with your whole heart. Marriage was never meant to be a contract that could be broken, but instead, a covenant based on the unconditional love between God, a husband and a wife. It doesn’t always mean that you’re going to feel like you’re in love. It means that you’ve made a commitment to each other to keep pursuing that loving relationship, keeping a covenant and vows, mutual sacrifice that says, I will stay committed no matter what.
Second, think about is the devastating consequences of divorce. Divorce is a no win situation for you, your ex, your children, the negative impact on your child‘s emotional, psychological, physical or spiritual life due to divorce is well documented. Just do a Google search on it. They’re going to be twice as likely to divorce as well. But the devastation is not only confined to your extended family and children, you’re going to suffer, too. So the question becomes would all the time, energy and expense of working through the issues of divorce be better used to work on us and repair our current marriage. Research suggests that the answer to this question is yes.
Lastly, rejoice that God is bigger than your marital issues. There’s hope. You know, God desires the best for his children, and he wants to empower you to have and enjoy the marriage the way he intended it to be. You’ve probably heard that saying “there’s no rock so big that God can’t lift it”. Well, there’s no marital issue God can’t remedy and restore. There is no sin He’s not ready to forgive. And there’s no relationship so broken he can’t make it new. So if you’ve been thinking about or heading down the path of separation or divorce, let me challenge you to take some time to pray and think about giving you and your marriage another chance at one of our marriage intensives.
