To Be a Better We . . . Become a Better Me!
One of the little phrases that we teach couples at our Marriage Hub Intensives is: If you want a better we … become a better me. That makes sense because if the two of us are one … what one does will impact the oneness. So, the question becomes: How do I become a better me? There are at least […]
Dealing with the “Impossible Dreams” in our Marriage
We see couples every weekend at our intensives who are struggling in theirmarriages because both spouses don’t feel they are getting what they hoped forout of their relationships. At the root of their problems are all of the unconscious,unspoken and unrealistic expectations they have of each other. So let’s take a minute to look at […]
What is the Number One Problem We See in Marriages?
We minister to about 100 struggling couples a year in our Marriage Hub Intensives. People often ask me what is the number one problem you see in marriages? Many think it is communication … or the inability to resolve conflicts … or the lack of forgiveness … and those are some real biggies. But I have come […]
Is Love Really All We Need . . . ?
We’re starting a 12 week series about decisions we need to make for a healthy marriage. The first question to ask is . .. Is love all we need? I’m sure you’ve heard the iconic Beatles song: All we need is love … There have been literally millions of love songs written all proclaiming the same message […]
Make Your “Thankful” List
The Psalmist wrote:“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, His love endures forever” Psalm 118:1 “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” – Colossians 3:16 Thanksgiving is probably the most under rated, under decorated, […]
What Happens When an Avoider Marries a Confronter?
(Picking up from our previous series …) When these two marry you have what Murray calls a “Hostile” couple; and they’re often engaged in a “cold war” marriage. Let’s look at the definition of the word ‘hostile’: “unfriendly… antagonistic … unkind … opposed or averse to … disapproving … and unsympathetic.” Now let’s define ‘cold war’: “an intense […]
The Avoider’s Marriage
We’ve been looking at Professor Murray’s 5 Categories of Married Couples. Last time we looked at the most successful category … the Validating Couple. They are known for putting each other’s needs and desires over their individual wants. They work hard to validate and build each other up. They pursue connectedness which produces a strong marital bond. In this […]
Is Your Marriage in the #1 Category?
In our last article we introduced you to the 5 categories of marriage that emerged from research done by James Murray of Oxford University. This week we will amplify the first of his five categories: The Validating Couple. The Validating Couple, according to professor Murray, will have the best chance of staying together for life! They experience the […]
Monster Boredom
June 9, 2019 Do you ever feel like your marriage is in the doldrums … nothing spectacular … pretty lack luster? If so, join the many couples who are battling one of the most silent and devastating of all marital monsters: Boredoutofmindous. This monster’s deadly strategy is to lead unsuspecting spouses to look for someone or something […]
4 Consequences of Not Listening to Your Spouse
August 6, 2019 Imagine this … you and your spouse arrive home after a long day and try to make a connection. Soon you hear about frustrations at work or home … the challenges of the boss and parenting … and all of the activities that need to be attended. Somewhere in the midst of […]