Communication Breakdown
Our daily exposure to superficial noise via the Internet, social media, TV and radio makes it easy for us to become immune to significant communication. We have become a soundbite culture and we can’t build meaningful relationships with soundbites. Jesus made a habit of getting away from the noise in his everyday life to have some meaningful communication with his […]
Water Heaters and Marriage
At our marriage intensives, I often liken our couples’ marriages to a water heater. Now you’re probably thinking, I don’t see the comparison. Well, let me explain. Water heaters have two heating elements…one at the bottom and one in the middle of the tank. And when both of these elements are doing what they’re supposed to be doing, the […]
Become a Better We by Being a Better Me
One of the little phrases that we teach couples at our marriage hub intensives is this…“If you want a better we, become a better me”. That makes sense because the two of us are one, and what one does will impact the oneness. So the question becomes, “How do I become a better me?” There are at least two answers to […]
Becoming Your Spouse’s Greatest Cheerleader
Have you ever experienced the wonder and privilege of having someone who’s a cheerleader for you? One who always believes the best about you, who speaks your praises in front of others? It’s a great feeling. It’s so many of us who are married don’t feel like our spouses are cheerleaders. That’s funny because when we were dating, we were great […]
Unmet Expectations
We see couples every weekend at our intensives who are struggling in their marriages because both spouses don’t feel that they’re getting what they hoped for out of the relationship. At the root of their problems are all of the unconscious, unspoken and unrealistic expectations they have for each other. So let’s take a minute to look at […]
Priority
We minister to over 100 struggling couples a year in our marriage hub intensives. People often ask me, what’s the number one problem you see in marriages? Many think it’s communication or the inability to resolve conflicts or the lack of forgiveness. And those are some real biggies. But I’ve come to the conclusion that one of the most common and deepest hurts […]
Will Love Keep Us Together?
I’m sure you’ve heard the iconic Beatles song “All We Need is Love.” And there have been literally millions of love songs written all proclaiming the same message…the only thing you need to make a relationship last forever is love. And unfortunately, our culture has bought hook, line and sinker into what I believe is the biggest relationship lie of all. And […]
How to Bless Your Spouse
Do you feel blessed? I’m not talking about only being the beneficiary of something that has brought you a tangible happiness. Let’s take a minute and talk about what a blessing is. You know, it’s easy to confuse a blessing with an affirmation, but they are different. An affirmation is positive feedback for something that we have done. It focuses on an outward, visible […]
Contempt
Dr. John Gottman is one of America’s most prominent marriage researchers, and he spent decades studying marital relationships and what makes them thrive and what causes them to die. He has identified what he calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, saying that these four attitudes, when allowed to ride roughshod in our marriages, can prove to be fatal to […]
Building Safe Spaces
Over the years of doing marriage intensives for couples in crisis, we’ve seen many husbands and wives who don’t feel safe. I’m not just talking about being physically safe. There are lots of ways we can feel unsafe in our marriages. So here are four safe spaces we want to work on creating in our marriages. Number one is physical safety. Your spouse needs […]