Everyone tells a white lie now and then but we need to ask ourselves, why? Sometimes we believe these white lies will save our relationships, ease a hectic situation, or maybe buy us some time. But the danger lurks and it once we get started, it’s all too easy to keep those lies going and going and going. Are you being totally honest? Are there things you’re holding back or don’t want him or her to know? Are you being transparent and sharing your true feelings? If your spouse saw your financial records or where you’ve been spending your time, or who you’ve been talking with on the phone or chatting with online, would he or she be surprised or angry? Are you feeling lonely? Trapped? Or like you’re about to explode, but haven’t let your spouse in on it? If this describes your marriage, here’s a list of things you can do to begin rebuilding your foundation of trust again.
1. Make a decision to unconditionally love your spouse and to stay in this relationship. This is going to make both of you feel safe enough to be truthful with one another.
2. Acknowledge and share any hurt feelings. Talk about how the lack of trust has or can hurt your relationship.
3. Make the decision to forgive even if all your feelings aren’t there yet.
4. Develop a plan for accountability. If your struggles involve money, plan for a monthly reconciliation of your funds that outlines where your expenditures are being made.
5. Renew your commitment to integrity with God and with your spouse. Proverbs 10:9 says “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his way crooked will be found out.”