Over the years of marriage, lovemaking may not be as frequent or as earth shattering as it once was. It may have lost its sizzle. The Apostle Paul in I Corthinthians 7:1-5 warns us of the dangers of sexual temptation. We often see couples at our intensives who are struggling with the consequences of an unsatisfying love life. So if your love life lacks passion, it could be due to one of these culprits:Lack of prioritization and initiative. When we give our time and energy to raising kids, working, playing or others, our marriage relationship stops being our number one priority. This can leave one or both of us feeling frustrated and cheated. These frustrations creep into our bedrooms, and nothing takes the passion out of lovemaking faster than doing it out of a sense of duty or obligation.
Possible inhibitions. These normally come from a negative view of sex, which may have had their roots in previous sexual experiences or parental teaching that sex was bad. These inhibitions can lead to the feelings of guilt, fear, and the sense that we’re doing something wrong. If this is the case, seek out some counseling to move forward.
Unresolved issues. The level of connection between spouses is what powers the passion of connecting. Still dealing with hurt or bitterness will have a negative impact. So get those unsettled issues solved.
Too much of a focus on performance. We’re bombarded with the need to be fantastic in the boudoir. The focus of lovemaking should be on loving, connecting and enjoying each other. When spouses focus on performance instead of romance, lovemaking becomes selfish and divisive.
Boredom. Many times, couples fall into a routine of making these intimate times predictable and boring. It’s important to change things up and perhaps even try something new.
Lack of trust due to fear of being hurt or rejected. These will negatively affect a couple’s love life. Spouses need to talk openly about what they like and don’t like. This will require a safe and trusting relationship. And while it doesn’t guarantee that all their wants may be met, it does promise to deepen their connection, which will pay dividends.
Let’s remember a vibrant and fulfilling love life is important to every couple’s happiness and will provide a wall of protection around them in this world filled with sexual temptation.
September 18, 2023
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