Am I an Emotionally Available Spouse?

October 31, 2022

Being emotionally available to our spouses is absolutely essential to a thriving marriage, but it’s also one of our greatest challenges. We’re all stressed by our overcrowded schedules and lofty expectations. We come home from work too emotionally exhausted from holding our tempers, biting our tongues, and rolling our eyes all day long to keep peace with our colleagues. So when we get home, we don’t have much emotional energy left. Or worse, we pull the plug on our emotions and disconnect from our spouses, putting them into a state of emotional isolation. What seems to be a positive solution to our personal issue produces a negative and destructive consequence in our marriage. So it makes sense for us to ask how can we keep our emotional batteries charged so that we’re ready to give and receive emotional messages? How can we stay emotionally available to our spouses? Let’s look at three answers that come from the Bible.
 
First, schedule some time to be alone with yourself. Jesus advised his disciples to getaway to a quiet place so they could recharge their batteries so they would have something to give to the multitudes they were ministering to every day. Maybe you can find some quiet time during your busy workweek on your commute to or from work. Turn off the noise and just be quiet. Take some time to think and pray. Or maybe you can go to lunch by yourself and enjoy some peace and quiet. Find a block of time every day where you can be still and just for fun start making a list of all the ways God shows His love for you during those quiet times of thought.
 
The second way to replenish your emotional strength is to play – to do something you find fun and relaxing. Each of us is different – some love to run or exercise vigorously, others rather stroll in the park or throw a line into the water. What’s the physical activity that helps you release your tension and recharge? Put some time regularly into your schedule to make that happen.
 
And finally, Proverbs 17:22 tells us that laughter is a good thing. What makes you laugh? Do you have a favorite program or video that you and your spouse can sit down and laugh through together? Or is there another couple or a group of friends that you find yourself laughing with? Be sure to spend some time enjoying that gift of laughter. It’s not only going to help you recharge your emotional batteries, it’s also going to make your spouse smile.

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