Remember when you were a kid and made promises; but you had your fingers crossed behind your back? Then when things got tough and you couldn’t follow through … you shared: “I had my fingers crossed!”
Our national divorce rate of about 50%, suggests that many couples have their fingers crossed when they exchange their wedding vows. And when things get tough they reveal that they were not truly all in.
We live in a contractual culture. I will do this for you … if you do this for me. In marriage it looks like this. I will stay married to you as long as you make this much money … look this good … give me children … meet my needs … and the list of conditions goes on and on. Our relationships are built on conditions being met … I will love you IF.
God never intended for marriage to be built on a contract. He ordained it to be a covenant. Covenants are unbreakable promises or vows. God makes covenants … and He keeps them; and He expects His people to do the same. Numbers 30:2 says this:
If a man vows a vow to the Lord, or swears an oath to bind himself by a pledge, he shall not break his word. He shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.
When you shared your vows (not conditions), you probably said something like this: I take you … for better or worse … in sickness or in health … for richer or poorer … until death do us part.
Honestly all of us are thinking … better, health and richer. But what happens when life gives us … worse, sickness or poor?
Do we say: Hey I’m out … I had my fingers crossed?
Knee to Knee Nose to Nose Questions:
What are some of the conditions you have seen other couples put on each other?
Do you feel that you have put conditions on your spouse?
Do you feel that he or she has put some conditions on you?
Do you both feel secure in the covenant you have made to each other?