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Don’t Let Busyness Destroy Your Marriage

June 2, 2019

Have you ever found yourself rationalizing, “I’m too busy to do something that will build my marriage?”

If so, your marriage has fallen prey to the marital monster … Busy R Us …

Let’s take some time to see how we can keep this marital monster from devastating our lives . . .

Is it any wonder why our “quality time” as a couple is relegated to sitting exhausted together in front of the TV after the kids have gone to bed?

We have fallen for the lie that the key to happiness in life is busyness. Too many of us are bringing our work home with us … not only on week nights but over our weekends! Over-scheduling not only harms your marriage … it hurts you … leading to fatigue, depression and other illnesses.

I think that most of us agree … we are too busy. The good news is: we can change.

How? It starts by re-examining and re-arranging our priorities. Our marriage relationships rarely make it to the top of our priority list … yet Genesis 2:23-25 tells us that they should be our number one earthly priority. So let’s begin our priority audit by asking some hard questions. 

Why am I choosing “busyness” over my spouse and family? 

Am I busy because I have the disease to please … and can’t say, “NO”?

Busyness is trying to do too much in too short a time frame. That gets worse when you add other peoples’ to-do list items to yours. Work together as a couple to build some boundaries that will keep you out of other peoples’ busyness. 

Do I get more gratification and satisfaction from my work, children, hobbies or something else than I do from being a husband or a wife? I’m great at my job … I am not so great as a spouse …

Do I keep myself busy because I don’t want to deal with the marital, parenting, financial or other family issues that are demanding my time and attention? If so are you believing the lie that these troubles will somehow disappear if I just stay busy?

And the last question is the most soul searching for all: are these things that have crept into the top priority spots in my life worth losing my marriage over?

How do you combat busyness? Once you have reestablished your marriage as a top priority it’s time to take a hard look at your schedule and see what you can off load. Make a list of everything that is currently on your plate that you would like to say no to. Discuss your list with your spouse and agree together to what you can say no to … and then strip away those nonessential “urgent” demands until your schedules reflect the value of marriage.   

Once you have made time for each other, be sure to spend that time constructively – don’t surf the internet or read in isolation. Try to develop a hobby together, or a shared activity you both enjoy.

Once you have come up with these solutions, remember that the monster of busyness is not easily defeated. It’s an ongoing challenge. Commit yourselves to battling the busyness monster together as a team.

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