My guess is that many of you have heard Paul Simon’s number one hit song back in 1975 … 50 ways to leave your lover … “just slip out the back, Jack … make a new plan, Stan … drop off the key, Lee… get yourself free”?
Well, we want to begin a series called: 50 ways to build your marriage; and start with our first of fifty ways … Claim your own part, Bart … Stop with the blame, Jane … Work on you, Lou … take responsibility!
If your goal is to have a life-long satisfying marriage … you have to take personal responsibility for the health and well-being of your relationship. Each spouse must own the fact that he or she is partially responsible for the good, the bad, and any ugly that is present in your marital union.
Let’s be honest … we all want to blame our spouses (or somebody or something else) for the problems in our marriages. But the truth is … most of the problems in your relationship usually start with you. Not your spouse … but you!
Marriage expert Paul David Tripp says: “I am my biggest marital problem!”
The fact is … no marriage will ever be stronger than the weaker spouse. You can’t have the best marriage … unless you are the best husband or best wife … right? So, both of you need to work at becoming the best “you” possible … to being the man, or woman, God wants you to be; and to have the best marriage possible!
Becoming the best involves asking yourself the hard questions: Where am I dropping the ball in our marriage? What am I blaming my spouse for … and how have I contributed to this weakness in our relationship?
This will not only help you … it will strengthen your marriage. It only takes one spouse who is willing to work toward being happily married for the whole marriage to change.
That process … is totally your responsibility … you can’t do it for each other.