Has something like this ever happened to you?
You bark some cutting and hurtful words at your spouse … turn, walk away and slam the door. You both retreat to a time of silence, separation and sinfulness.
At this point you have two choices … you can either go back and work out your issue together; or allow the unresolved conflict to “scab over” pretending that nothing happened. Trust me … personal experience has taught me that the second option is not the correct one!
Hopefully you realize that the first option is the best choice. If you don’t take some deliberate steps to resolve your conflict, your unsettled issue will fester and cause both of you to feel disconnected. It’s the proverbial “elephant in the middle of the relationship” syndrome! The problem is you’re not only feeling disconnected … you’re feeling unforgiving and unforgiven … and that takes your earthly marital issue to a heavenly spiritual level.
Whenever there is an unsolved issue between you and your spouse … there is an unresolved issue between you and God. In Matthew 5:24 Jesus said, “leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift (to God).” Jesus teaches us that broken human relationships break our connection with God; and commands us to get right with each other before we seek to have communion with God. So when you’re not in fellowship with your spouse … you’re not in communion with your Savior.
Our marital relationships are broken when we don’t engage in reconciliation and forgiveness. Paul teaches us in Ephesians not to let the sun go down on our anger … the idea is to deal with our disagreements quickly. Don’t let the sins of our stubbornness and pride keep us from humbly confessing our role in the problem. Jesus commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven …
Many of us struggle to feel connected to, and forgiven by, our spouses and our God because we still have unfinished business with them … remember that unresolved issue leads to an unsettled heart.