Did you know that “Calling a Time Out” …before you get into some marital mayhem can be a great way to start a positive conversation?
Coaches often call a time out when they feel the game is out of control and getting away from them. It gives the team a chance to break the negative momentum or to slow the game down so that they can re-group and talk about a new strategy for winning the contest.
The same is true for you as a couple … the power of calling a “time out” at the right moment … can keep you from letting the negative and destructive arguments defeat your marriage.
So when you feel that things are getting hectic and out of control … call a time out … it can help you positively resolve your conflict by:
- Preventing the fight from escalating into a negative and destructive disaster.
- Allowing you to get away from each other so you can both calm down
- Giving you time to pray, and ask the Lord to give you wisdom and the proper attitude needed to resolve your issue …
- Giving you time to take another look at the issue from your spouse’s perspective … to ask yourself: What is my part in this problem?
- And then, when you see your role in the issue, you can craft the words you want to say to your spouse so that he or she will hear you and not be so defensive.
Time outs don’t cancel or end the game. They have a definite starting and stopping point. The same needs to be true when one of you calls for one in your marriage. When you call a time out … acknowledge there is a problem that needs to be solved … state that you are not ready, or in a good place to deal with it now, and agree on a time and place to come back and work through the issue.
This is not an avoidance strategy … it is an advancement strategy!