Scripture: “Be still, and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10
The Christmas Holy-Days fills quickly — often without us realizing it. What begins as a joyful time of celebration can quietly turn into a relentless calendar of obligations. Christmas programs, work parties, family dinners, church events, gift exchanges, school concerts, shopping trips, decorating, traveling, hosting, volunteering — the list grows faster than the days on the calendar. We wonder how our schedules got so full.
Busyness has a way of robbing couples of the very connection the season is supposed to foster. Instead of experiencing the peace and joy of Christmas, many couples feel like they are sprinting from one commitment to another, barely catching their breath. Conversations become logistical: “You pick up the kids. I’ll grab the gift. Don’t forget the party tonight.” Before long, the two of you may feel like teammates running a relay race rather than partners in love.
That’s why Psalm 46:10 is so crucial: “Be still and know that I am God.” Stillness is not merely about stopping activity — it is about intentionally stepping into a posture of awareness, rest, and connection with God. Stillness grounds us. It reorients us. It reminds us of whose season this really is.
One of the greatest sources of the Christmas Holy-Days tension in marriage is the clash of expectations, especially those tied to childhood traditions. One spouse may remember holidays filled with large gatherings, lots of noise, and festive chaos. The other may have grown up with quiet, simple celebrations centered around rest and reflection. Neither is wrong — but unspoken expectations easily create disappointment.
Traditions are beautiful, but they should serve your marriage, not strain it. Holding too tightly to “the way it’s always been” can cause friction rather than joy. The first Christmas was marked by simplicity, humility, and quiet wonder — not busyness, rushing, or pressure. The miracle happened in a stable, not a schedule. In that stillness, the glory of God was revealed.
What if this year you intentionally chose margin over madness? What if you protected space to enjoy each other, listen, laugh, pray, rest, and simply be together? Slowing down may be the greatest gift you give each other — and your family.
Practical Takeaways
Pause the pace. Sit down with your calendar and ask: What actually matters? What can we release? When you say yes to everything, you say no to peace.
Blend rather than battle traditions. Share what each of you loves most about the holidays. Keep a few meaningful traditions and let go of those that create stress or division.
Schedule stillness. Block out at least one evening each week just for the two of you — no events, no obligations, no phones — simply time to reconnect.
Center yourselves spiritually. Begin each day with a brief prayer, inviting Christ to guide your hearts and schedule. A spiritually centered couple can handle a busy season with grace.
Choose presence over performance. Sometimes the most meaningful moments are the unscripted ones — quiet conversation, shared laughter, or a slow evening by the tree.
True holiday fullness doesn’t come from a packed calendar but from a full heart — a heart centered on God and connected to your spouse.
