Pride Proof Love Love is an Action not a Feeling (5)
Love Is Not Proud
Scripture Focus
“Love is not proud…” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Sue shared something tender with her husband, Steve, one evening. She wasn’t attacking—just opening her heart.
“I felt really alone today,” she said. “I needed you, and it felt like you weren’t there.”
Steve immediately responded, “I’m sorry you felt that way, but I was slammed at work. I had no choice.”
He meant well. He thought he was clarifying.
Sue shut down and went quiet.
A few minutes passed, and he finally said, “What’s wrong?”
Sue replied, “You apologized… but you also defended yourself. So, I don’t know if you’re sorry—or just trying to prove you didn’t do anything wrong.”
That landed like a weight.
Steve realized his pride had been hiding in plain sight. He wanted to keep his intentions intact more than he wanted to honor her impact. He wanted to be understood more than he wanted to understand.
So, he tried again—this time with humility.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I hate that you felt alone. I don’t want you to feel that way. Help me understand what you needed from me today.”
And in that moment, the conversation changed. Not because the schedule changed—but because his heart posture did.
Pride in marriage doesn’t usually announce itself. It shows up quietly—in defensiveness, in the need to be right, in the reluctance to apologize, or in the assumption that my perspective is the accurate one. Pride convinces us that our intentions matter more than our impact.
When pride is present, listening becomes difficult and vulnerability feels risky. Conversations turn into debates. Conflict becomes about winning instead of understanding. Over time, pride builds walls where humility could have built bridges.
Love that is not pride is teachable. It values connection over control and understanding over being right. In marriage, humility creates space for curiosity—Help me understand you—instead of judgment—Let me explain why you’re wrong.
This kind of love doesn’t diminish confidence; it redirects it. Humility trusts that admitting weakness does not threaten love—it deepens it.
Humility is not self-contempt or silence. It does not mean agreeing when you disagree or suppressing truth to keep peace. Rather, it is the willingness to hold truth with gentleness and to acknowledge that no one sees the full picture alone.
Pride says, I know better. Love says, Let’s learn together.
Jesus embodied humility perfectly. Though equal with God, He chose servanthood. He listened, He stooped, and He laid down His life for others. His humility did not weaken His authority—it revealed His love.
When pride rises in marriage, it often signals fear—fear of being misunderstood, minimized, or wrong. Christ’s humility invites us to trust that love does not require self-protection at the expense of connection.
Reflection Questions (Discuss Together)
- Where do I become defensive most easily?
- How do I respond when you express hurt or disagreement?
- What would humility look like in our current challenges?
Practice for the Week
Practice one humble response each day. Listen without interrupting. Apologize without explaining. Ask a question before offering a solution. Let humility open space for closeness.
Prayer
Jesus, shape our hearts to look like Yours. Teach us to walk in humility so our love may be deep, gentle, and strong. Amen.
