Scripture: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” — Romans 12:18
The Christmas season proclaims peace — choirs sing it, cards display it, and decorations highlight it. Yet many married couples experience the opposite. Holidays often bring tension, not tranquility. Two of the most common areas of strain are family expectations and financial pressures.
Family expectations can be complicated. Parents want time with you, extended relatives assume old traditions will continue, and siblings may expect you to participate in certain gatherings. Meanwhile, your spouse may have an entirely different set of expectations from his or her side of the family. Suddenly, what should be a peaceful celebration feels like a tug-of-war — where both of you feel pulled, obligated, or misunderstood.
Paul’s instruction in Romans 12:18 calls us to pursue peace as far as it depends on us. That phrase reminds us that peace is not passive. It requires intention, discernment, unity, and sometimes boundaries. Peace begins in your home, between the two of you, long before it flows out to extended family. When couples choose unity first, family expectations lose their power to divide.
Financial strain adds another layer of pressure. Christmas can become expensive quickly: gifts, travel, decorations, special meals, charitable giving, and last-minute costs that always seem to pop up. Without intentional planning, couples can end up stressed, anxious, or even resentful of one another’s spending habits. One may feel responsible to “make Christmas special,” while the other is worried about paying the bills come January.
Yet the first Christmas was astonishingly simple — no elaborate gifts, no decorated home, no perfect event. Just a lowly manger, a young couple, and the presence of the newborn Jesus, the Prince of Peace. What made that night beautiful was not elaborate decorations or expensive gifts, but God with us. Peace flowed from His presence, not their circumstances.
Your home can experience that same peace when Jesus, the Prince of Peace, is at the center of your decisions, priorities, and conversations. When you choose unity over expectations and wisdom over pressure, peace becomes possible — even in a complicated, noisy world.
Practical Takeaways
- Plan together early. Sit down to discuss schedules, budgets, and expectations. Write things down. Clarity eliminates 75% of holiday stress.
- Use united language with family. “We’ve decided…” communicates unity and prevents extended family from triangulating.
- Make a peace-first budget. Before spending, ask: Will this purchase bring stress or joy? Will it stretch us or bless us?
- Pray over your plans. Couples who pray before making decisions invite God’s wisdom and peace into the process.
- Honor your marriage above all. The holiday season is richer when the two of you stand together as one.
