We’re in the second edition of a 15 week devotion series on the loving ‘actions’ that Paul tells us define love in I Corinthians 13:4-8. Patience was our first action. It creates a space that kindness fills. After learning to stay present and patient when things are moving slowly in your marriage … love moves toward intentional goodness. Kindness transforms patience from endurance into grace. Let’s look at …
“Love is kind…” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Kindness is often abundant at the beginning of marriage and quietly scarce as time goes on. We are polite to strangers, thoughtful with coworkers, and generous with friends—yet in the familiarity of marriage, kindness can become voluntary. We assume love is understood, so gentleness feels redundant.
In marriage, unkindness rarely looks cruel. More often, it looks like impatience wrapped in honesty, sarcasm disguised as humor, or indifference masked as busyness. We don’t intend to be unkind, we’re simply tired, distracted, or preoccupied. But love, Scripture tells us, is not only patient. It is kind.
Biblical kindness is love expressed through intentional goodness. It is not merely avoiding harm; it is actively choosing to bless. Kindness looks for ways to soften life for another person.
In marriage, kindness shows up in tone, timing, and tenderness. It is the decision to speak gently when you can speak sharply. It is choosing to move toward your spouse when distance feels easier. Kindness turns love from a feeling into a daily practice.
Kindness is not weakness. It does not mean avoiding hard conversations or ignoring real issues. Kindness tells the truth—but it tells it with care. Love does not weaponize honesty or use truth as a tool for control.
Unkindness often surfaces when we feel justified. We think, If you hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t have reacted that way. But love does not wait for perfect conditions to be kind. It chooses kindness even when it would be easier to defend, correct, or withdraw.
Jesus’ kindness was unmistakable. He noticed people others overlooked. He spoke with gentleness to the broken and firmness only when necessary. Even in correction, His love was evident.
When we struggle to be kind in marriage, it may be because we’ve forgotten how kind Christ has been to us—patient in our failures, gentle in our growth, and faithful when we are not.
Reflection Questions (Discuss Together)
- How do I most naturally show kindness to you?
- Where might my tone or words feel unkind, even if unintended?
- What is one simple way I could express kindness to you this week?
Practice for the Week
Practice intentional kindness each day. One thoughtful word. One gentle response. One small act of care without being asked. Let kindness become the language your love speaks most fluently.
Prayer
Jesus, soften our hearts toward one another. Teach us to love not only in patience, but in kindness that reflects Your grace. Amen.
