Someone has said that: “Love is the feeling that you feel when you are about to feel a feeling that you’ve never felt before!” Cute phrase … and it validates that we’re inundated with the lie that love is just a feeling. But it is so much more! Those loving feelings come from loving actions that we as spouses are to demonstrate to each other. So, let’s unpack the 15 loving ‘actions’ that Paul tells us define love in I Corinthians 13:4-8 in a series of devotionals that we’ll title: Love Is “Action” not “Feeling”.
“Love is patient…” (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Patience is often the first thing to disappear in marriage—not because we don’t love our spouse, but because we know them so well. We know their habits. Their weaknesses. Their patterns. And familiarity can quietly turn into irritation. We expect change faster than it comes, growth sooner than it happens, and understanding before it’s been learned.
In marriage, impatience sounds like sighs, sharp tones, or silent withdrawal. It looks like frustration when the same conversation comes up again or when progress feels painfully slow, or nonexistent. Yet the Bible tells us that love is not a feeling of passion or romance, but and action: patience.
Biblical patience is not passive waiting. It is active endurance. The word Paul uses means enduring hardship and long suffering, a willingness to remain present, steady, and committed—even when change is slow or circumstances are hard.
In marriage, patience means choosing to stay emotionally engaged while God is working in both of your lives. It is the decision to love your spouse in the process, not just after progress or the final product appears.
Patience is not denial. It doesn’t ignore problems or excuse harmful behavior. And it is not silent resentment disguised as endurance. True patience does not say, “I’ll put up with you,” but rather, “I am committed to you while we grow.”
Impatience often comes from uncommunicated, unrealistic, and hence unmet expectations. We thought marriage would “fix” certain things. We assumed time would change habits. Patience invites us to release timelines and trust God’s work instead.
Jesus is amazingly patient with us. He doesn’t abandon us because growth is slow. He doesn’t shame us for needing reminders. He walks with us through repeated failures and steady formation.
When patience feels impossible in marriage, it’s often because we’re trying to manufacture it on our own. Patience is a “fruit of the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22). It comes from our submitting to the Holy Spirit and letting Him work through us. It grows when we embrace Christ’s patience toward us first.
Reflection Questions (Discuss Together)
- Where do I feel most impatient with you right now?
- What expectations might I be placing on you that God has not?
- How have you been patient with me in ways I may overlook?
Practice for the Week
Choose one area where impatience often shows up. Instead of correcting, pushing, or withdrawing, practice presence. Listen without fixing. Respond without sarcasm. Pray silently before reacting. Let patience be love in action.
Prayer
Lord, teach us to love as You love—slow to anger, rich in mercy, and faithful in the process. Amen.
