Loving vs. Smothering
Someone once said a relationship is like a blanket…it can leave us struggling for air or enfold us in a warm, safe embrace. When you love someone, your desire to be with them is driven by your proper motives, such as your spouse’s best interests, generosity, care and concern. When you smother someone, your desire to be with them is driven by negative […]
Am I an Emotionally Available Spouse?
Being emotionally available to our spouses is absolutely essential to a thriving marriage, but it’s also one of our greatest challenges. We’re all stressed by our overcrowded schedules and lofty expectations. We come home from work too emotionally exhausted from holding our tempers, biting our tongues, and rolling our eyes all day long to keep […]
3 Ways to Become an Empathetic Spouse
We’ve all heard that empathy is putting yourself into your spouse’s shoes if done well. Being empathetic helps us to see, hear and understand our spouses like nobody else can. And when properly cultivated, it leads to some transforming, caring actions.It’s reinforcing our empathy with these actions that show our spouses how much we truly […]
Believing the Best in Your Spouse
A couple’s marriage was crumbling. Her husband’s heart had morphed into stone. He dearly loved her for years, but struggled to demonstrate it in a way she could recognize. As her insecurity grew, he assumed he could never please her. He stopped trying and eventually left. In doing an autopsy of their marriage, this wife […]
Fighting Fair
Do you resort to extreme or irrational tactics when you’re fighting? You know, like slamming the doors or exaggerated motions and loud voices? Do you need to have the last snarky word? Do you get historical when you’re hysterical, bringing up past wounds and offenses? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you […]
The Cure for Complacency in Marriage
As married couples, we’re all susceptible to the natural decline of romance, affection, appreciation and communication within our relationships. It’s not the insurmountable problems that erode marriages. It’s the fact that we’ve become too lazy and comfortable. Complacency constricts the life out of many a marriage. So what’s the cure for complacency? It’s to become […]
Something Amazing Happens When You Sacrifice in Your Marriage
How many times have you fallen prey to the idea is that you are supposed to give up what you want in order for your spouse to take what he or she wants … with the hopeful anticipation that your spouse will return the favor sometime in the near future? The problem with this way […]
Did You Have Your Fingers Crossed?
Remember when you were a kid and made promises; but you had your fingers crossed behind your back? Then when things got tough and you couldn’t follow through … you shared: “I had my fingers crossed!” Our national divorce rate of about 50%, suggests that many couples have their fingers crossed when they exchange their […]
One Marriage Trait All Successful Couples Share
After spending time with both couples who are super successful in their marriages … and those on the opposite spectrum dealing with major challenges, I’ve found a few key traits that all the successful couples share … and the not so successful couples need to learn. The first is to speak well of your spouse […]
A Wise Reprover
Proverbs 25:12 – “Like earrings of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprove to a listening ear.” When Karen and I were first married, I was the apple of her eye … perfect in every way. But it didn’t take long for reality to set in; and she wanted to make some […]