Scripture Focus
“So, Sarai said to Abram, ‘Now behold, the Lord has prevented me from bearing children. Please go in to my servant; perhaps I will obtain children through her.’ And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.” — Genesis 16:2
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.” — Proverbs 3:5
Opening Vignette
David and Emily talked about it for weeks.
The promotion would nearly double David’s salary. It would also require moving hundreds of miles away from family, changing churches, and uprooting their children.
They made lists of the pros and cons. They compared housing prices, school districts, and cost-of-living estimates. They even asked several friends for advice.
Finally, David looked across the table and said, “I think we’ve thought through everything.”
Emily nodded. Then she paused.
“Have we?”
“What do you mean?”
“We’ve talked to everyone but God.”
The room fell silent.
In all their planning, researching, and discussing, they had overlooked the One whose wisdom mattered most.
How many important decisions are made the same way?
We analyze. We calculate. We seek advice. We weigh the options.
Then we move forward … without ever genuinely asking God for direction.
Marriage Reality
Healthy marriages communicate well. But communication alone is not enough.
A husband and wife can agree completely and still make the wrong decision if they fail to seek God’s wisdom.
Many couples spend more time discussing their problems than praying about them. They consult experts, read articles, compare opinions, and evaluate every possible outcome. None of those things are wrong. But if seeking God becomes the last step instead of the first, wisdom is easily replaced by human understanding.
The strongest marriages aren’t simply those that make decisions together. They are marriages that seek God together.
What This Kind of Love Really Is
Genesis 16 is one of the most heartbreaking chapters in Abraham and Sarah’s story.
Years of waiting had taken their toll. Sarah proposed a solution that seemed practical and culturally acceptable. Abraham agreed.
The remarkable part of the story isn’t simply what they decided. It’s what the passage does not say.
- Scripture records Sarah speaking.
- It records Abraham listening.
- It records Hagar becoming involved.
But nowhere does it record Abraham and Sarah stopping to seek the Lord.
Perhaps they assumed they knew the answer already. Maybe frustration clouded their judgment. It’s possible they had simply grown weary of waiting.
Whatever the reason, they relied on human reasoning instead of divine wisdom.
How often do we do the same?
When facing financial decisions, parenting challenges, career changes, ministry opportunities, or relationship conflicts, it’s easy to rely on our own experience and overlook God’s direction.
Love that honors God refuses to make significant decisions on human wisdom alone.
- It pauses.
- It prays.
- It invites God into the conversation before reaching a conclusion.
Prayer does more than help us make better decisions. It aligns our hearts with God’s purposes. Sometimes He changes our circumstances. Often, He changes us.
When husbands and wives pray together before making important decisions, they acknowledge a profound truth:
“Our marriage belongs to God, and we want His will more than our own.”
That time of prayer invites God’s wisdom into places where human understanding will always fall short.
What Love Is Not
Love is not assuming that agreement automatically equals God’s approval.
It is possible to be united as a couple and still be moving in the wrong direction.
Love does not place confidence in careful planning while neglecting dependence on God.
It recognizes that the greatest resource in marriage is not intelligence, experience, or compatibility.
It is the wisdom of the Lord.
A Better Way Forward
Before making your next significant decision, pause.
Pray before you plan.
Seek God before you settle on a solution.
Ask Him not only to reveal the right path but also to shape your hearts to desire His will above your own.
Then move forward together … not simply because you agree with each other, but because together you have sought the Lord.
A praying marriage will never be a perfect marriage. But it will be a marriage continually shaped by the wisdom of a perfect God.
Prayer
Father, forgive us for the times we have depended on our own understanding instead of seeking Your wisdom. Teach us to invite You into every important decision we face. Help us to pray before we plan, to listen before we act, and to desire Your will above our own. Unite our hearts around Your purposes so that our marriage reflects trust in Your guidance rather than confidence in our own abilities. Give us wisdom that comes from above and courage to follow wherever You lead. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Growing Together
Reflect: Think about an important decision we have made together. Did we genuinely seek God’s direction, or did we simply ask Him to bless a decision we had already made?
Talk Together: What tends to keep us from praying together before making significant decisions? Busyness? Confidence? Fear? Uncertainty?
Live It: Is there a decision we are currently facing that needs to begin … not with another conversation … but with prayer? Set aside time this week to seek God’s wisdom together before taking the next step.
Take It with You
The strongest marriages are not built on two people who always know what to do, but on two people who consistently seek the One who does.
