I have received this list of ten symptoms of a deteriorating marriage.
Let me share it with you:
1. You’re constantly hearing I love you, but I’m not in love with you.
2. One of you wants to go for marriage counseling, but the other won’t participate.
3. You feel like you’re in a convenient business or roommate partnership rather than in a passionate marriage. Your relationship has deteriorated to a delegation of task and responsibilities for you and/or your spouse.
4. You avoid dealing with your marriage problems by overindulging in food, drink, exercise, work, or whatever.
5. You rarely spend quality time together. You look for reasons to be away from each other.
6. You’re not communicating face to face. You use texts, notes, emails, or your children to relay important information.
7. You’re sleeping in separate rooms or going to bed at different times.
8. One or both of you are avoiding physical intimacy with each other.
9. You fantasize about what it would be like to be single again or in a new relationship with somebody else.
10. You suspect or have discovered that your spouse is having an emotional or physical affair.
These are all indicators of a marriage that’s dying of neglect. They scream that a couple has stopped trying. You know, most marriages don’t end because of one cataclysmic event. They’re like the once majestic oak tree that looks strong and healthy but has really been rotting away for years from the inside out until a storm blows in and topples it, exposing the decay that led to its demise. How can you stop this deterioration from happening in your marriage by not allowing it to happen to you? It’s easier for you to change your outlook than to change your spouse, both figuratively and literally. You know, we want to blame our spouses for where our marriages are, but the first step is to own your personal responsibility for making your marriage better. So which one of these symptoms do you want to attack first? Your marriage will only be as strong as its weakest spouse. So work to be the best spouse you can be.
