- We’re communicating on a rapport (emotional) versus a report (factual) level.
- We make regular spiritual connections.
- We’re making regular physical connections.
- We’re resolving our conflicts issues with a win-win scenario.
- We’re an effective parenting team.
- We enjoy regular, alone time together.
- We’re serving the Lord together.
- We feel safe enough to share how we’re really feeling with each other.
Now let’s go through that same list and see what things need to be strengthened or improved. Now it’s time to do a little strategic thinking. What are those threats to your marriage that may be lingering on the horizon? They are active threats, things you’re experiencing right now and future threats, things you don’t even see coming.
- Money
- Job changes
- Bankruptcy
- Retirement
- Parenting failures
- Failures of your children
- Ex-spouses
- Stepkids
- Empty nest
- Your in-laws – the lack of leaving and cleaving and their intrusion into your life
- Addictions – alcohol, porn, gambling, shopping
- You’re having the same fight over and over again
- Emotional, physical or spiritual intimacy is lacking
- You’re getting leftovers
- Broken trust
- Hearts and eyes begin to wander
- Boredom
- Health – chronic conditions, illness
- Apathy with God and with your spouse
- Not caring about changes in you or your spouse’s needs
- Aging
Let me challenge you to spend some time this week as a couple to go over the state of your marital union. Look at the above list and talk about how you plan to strengthen your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and eliminate those threats.
