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Yearly Marriage Evaluation

Here in the next few weeks, the President will prepare to give his State of the Union address. Relax. I’m not here to discuss politics. But it does get me thinking…What would I say if I had to deliver an annual assessment of the state of my marital union to Karen and the rest of my family. So let me challenge you with those same ideas.These speeches always start off with the good news, the things that we’re doing well, the things that we can celebrate. How many of these can you say are true about your marriage?

  • We’re communicating on a rapport (emotional) versus a report (factual) level.
  • We make regular spiritual connections.
  • We’re making regular physical connections.
  • We’re resolving our conflicts issues with a win-win scenario.
  • We’re an effective parenting team.
  • We enjoy regular, alone time together.
  • We’re serving the Lord together.
  • We feel safe enough to share how we’re really feeling with each other.

Now let’s go through that same list and see what things need to be strengthened or improved. Now it’s time to do a little strategic thinking. What are those threats to your marriage that may be lingering on the horizon? They are active threats, things you’re experiencing right now and future threats, things you don’t even see coming.

  • Money
  • Job changes
  • Bankruptcy
  • Retirement
  • Parenting failures
  • Failures of your children
  • Ex-spouses
  • Stepkids
  • Empty nest
  • Your in-laws – the lack of leaving and cleaving and their intrusion into your life
  • Addictions – alcohol, porn, gambling, shopping
  • You’re having the same fight over and over again
  • Emotional, physical or spiritual intimacy is lacking
  • You’re getting leftovers
  • Broken trust
  • Hearts and eyes begin to wander
  • Boredom
  • Health – chronic conditions, illness
  • Apathy with God and with your spouse
  • Not caring about changes in you or your spouse’s needs
  • Aging

Let me challenge you to spend some time this week as a couple to go over the state of your marital union. Look at the above list and talk about how you plan to strengthen your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, and eliminate those threats.

Happy New Year written out

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Almost 65% of the couples attending a marriage intensive retreat with The Marriage Hub are given some sort of financial needs based scholarship. Without those funds, we would not be able to save their marriage.

The Marriage Hub is the marriage ministry of House on the Rock Family Ministries, a registered 501c3 organization. All donations are tax deductible.

Checks can be mailed to: The Marriage Hub – 18 N Market Street, Elizabethtown, PA 17022

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