The number of men and women entangled with pornography is exploding. While many of us think that porn is a men’s issue, new studies show us that more women are getting involved, too. This research tells us that over 60% of the women have been exposed to porn before age 14, and over 20% of women are addicted to it. There’s no doubt that the growing porn epidemic is having a negative impact on marriages.
Let’s take a look at two ways porn destroys marriages:First, it devastates the spouse’s self-image and worth. Let’s be honest, who wouldn’t feel like a failure if they discovered their spouse using porn? It certainly seems obvious that the users not feeling satisfied or fulfilled, otherwise he or she would not have turned to porn once exposed and the other spouse will immediately believe that something is wrong. If I was better looking or if I lost some weight or I was a little more sexy, my spouse would be happy. Unfortunately, a spouse’s porn use validates all these negative beliefs that ultimately lead to the devastating and crippling conclusion that says I am not good enough.
The second way porn destroys marriages is that it shatters trust and creates suspicion. The majority of porn use in marriage occurs in secret. When lies, secrecy and wandering sexual pursuits are exposed, trust is shattered…putting the marriage in jeopardy. It feels like an extramarital affair to the offended spouse. And that’s because the offending partner has become sexually connected with something else. And that’s betrayal. And it’s extremely painful. Marriages are built on trust, and once trust is broken, it can be rebuilt…but it’s a long and challenging process. The offended spouse will have to fight over time to thwart lingering doubts about what other secrets may possibly be existing in their spouse. The offending spouse is going to have to be purposeful and patient and working hard to rebuild connection through addiction, recovery and accountability. So be careful. Work hard to guard your hearts and minds from this devastating addiction. And if you’re struggling with porn, get help. Now. Don’t let this destructive habit destroy you, your marriage or your family.
September 18, 2023
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