We’ve all heard the phrase: Carpe Diem or “seize the day”. The idea is to
maximize all of the opportunities that today will bring. Every day offers us a myriad of opportunities … at our jobs … with our colleagues … with our kids … and yes, even with our spouses.
The problem is most of us capitalize on our opportunities in that order … and we miss some great connection times with our spouses. So let’s focus on
looking at some ways we can seize our spouses!
1. Look for a Way to “Jump Start” Your Day. Marriage researchers tell us
that how we start our days together will set the tone for the entire day. Be
sure to make some eye contact and say good morning … give each other a
hug or kiss. Starting the day disengaged often leads to a disconnected day …
which leads to a lot of missed opportunities.
2. Look for a Way to Say “Thank You”. We see couples at our intensives
who fall into the habit of taking each other for granted. We fall into our
“assigned roles” and do those duties almost mindlessly; and in doing so we
forget to thank each other for the mundane yet vital things that we do for each other on a regular basis. So start looking for those openings to say thank you to each other and see how it energizes both of you!
3. Look for a Way to Have Some Fun. Daily routines can get boring which
usually involves the absence of fun. Look for some ways to interject a little
levity into your routine. Rent a funny movie … go out for some ice cream …
play a game … look for a reason to celebrate something … take a mini trip to
someplace new. Break up the boring!
4. Look for a Way to “Say” I love You. Remember when you were always
looking for little ways to show each other how much you loved each other?
Well … why not make a new commitment to do that again. Make a quick call
… send a text … stop and get a gift … go the extra mile to help with a chore
… do something unexpected that shows how you feel.
5. Look for a Way to Connect on a Heart Level. When’s the last time the
two of you had a heart to heart conversation? Much of our marital
communication revolves around the logistics and reporting of running our
households. The complacency creep that invades many marriages keeps us
from connecting on a deeper level. Look for a time when one of you shares a feeling … then stop and take a few minutes to talk about it. It will bring the two of you closer.
6. Look for a Way to End the Day in a Loving Way. Bookend your day of
seizing opportunities with a good night ritual. A simple kiss good night … a
short conversation about the highs and lows of the day … or quick back
scratch … will let you both drift off knowing that you care for one another.
We live in a world that prides itself on being efficient and maximizing all of the opportunities we have … I hope these 6 suggestions will not only help you seize your day … but will seize the heart of your spouse too.
