One of the little phrases that we teach couples at our Marriage Hub Intensives is: If you want a better we … become a better me. That makes sense because if the two of us are one … what one does will impact the oneness. So, the question becomes: How do I become a better me? There are at least two answers to that question.
The first answer is rooted in the idea of self-care. I’m not talking about excessive pampering and self-indulgence. I’m talking about our need to develop a strategy for taking care of our heart, soul, mind and strength; the four parts of our being that Jesus commanded us to love God with.
Our emotional battery deals with how we are feeling. Are you feeling encouraged, discouraged, happy, or sad …all of these feelings impact how we behave in all of our relationships.
Our soul battery deals with our link to God. We all do our walks with God differently but we all need to be right with Him. We need to be fed from His Word.
The battery of our mind powers the control center of our thoughts; and our beliefs control our words and actions. That’s why Paul tells us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Finally, the battery of strength is linked to the physical condition of our bodies. Are we eating, sleeping, resting, and taking care of our temples?
These are the four batteries that power our lives. When they are fully charged we are in a good place. When they are depleted … we’re “burned out.” So in order to be a better me in your marriage … you need to make sure you’re charging your batteries regularly … how do we do that?
Only you can answer that question for you … because we don’t all charge our batteries the same way. So, sit down and develop your self-care plan by asking yourself how do I charge these four batteries in my life? Because self-care makes you a better you … it is vital to the health of your marriage.
The second answer to our question: How do I become a better me? is this: You have to assume personal responsibility for the health of your marriage. Let’s face it … we all want to blame our spouses when our marriage isn’t where we want it to be. But one very prominent marriage author declares that: You are your biggest marital problem. Let’s imagine that a couple is not speaking to each other. Both spouses are holding onto their pride by refusing to break the silence. Where is it written that one spouse can’t choose to step up and say to him or herself … this is ridiculous … we can’t go on like this … I will break the silence. With that choice a conversation starts … the conflict is resolved … and they move on. All started by the deliberate decision that one healthy spouse made because he or she understood that … if we want to be a better we … I have to be a better me!
