Is Love Really All We Need . . . ?

January 21, 2020

We’re starting a 12 week series about decisions we need to make for a healthy marriage. The first question to ask is . .. Is love all we need?

I’m sure you’ve heard the iconic Beatles song: All we need is love 

There have been literally millions of love songs written all proclaiming the same message … the only thing you need to make a relationship last forever … is love. 

Unfortunately, our culture has bought hook line and sinker into what I believe is the biggest relationship lie of all … that … love will keep us together

Why is that a lie? Because the love these swooners are singing about is a feeling that they would define as … the ideal feeling that you feel … when you’re sure you have never felt that way before. So is there any wonder as to why we see couples calling it quits and breaking up? 

Too many see marriage as an emotional love affair built of pleasure and passion. The problem comes when one spouse believes that he or she has … lost that loving feeling … the marriage is over. And the search for someone else to make him or her feel the way they’ve never felt before begins again … and again. 

So … if love won’t keep a couple together what will? The answer is one word: Commitment.
Marriage is a commitment that is made between one man pledging to one woman that they will strive to become one over their lifetimes. 

45 years ago Karen and I made a commitment to each other … we call them wedding vows … and we pledged to stay together … for better or worse … richer or poorer … in sickness and in health until death do us part. It was easy because our hearts were filled with love for one another …

But … commitment means staying true to what you said you were going to do long after the mood in which you said it has evaporated. 

Hey, did Karen and I hope to keep that loving feeling … you bet! But … did the realities of life and living together cause us to wake up some mornings not feeling the love? You bet. 

We need to remember that our marriages aren’t just about our happiness … they are to be an example of God’s love of us for all who know us to see.

Marriage was created to be a mirror of who God is and how He loves. We as male and females have been created in His image and the coming together of a man and a woman … in marriage is a further reflection of who God is and how He loves. 

God loves you and me unconditionally. If we have established a personal relationship with Him through His Son Jesus … He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. God has made an unconditional commitment that He will stay with us no matter what. Our marriages should reflect that unconditional love and commitment for the world to see.

Marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect spouse… to be in love isn’t about maintaining some strong feeling … it is a willful decision to keep a number of promises ….

So, is your marriage built on loving feelings or commitment …

There are only 2 options regarding commitment … you are either all in or you’re out … there is no middle ground.

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Further Reading

5 Commitments to a Successful Daily Check-In

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We see couples every weekend at our intensives that are struggling. Many saythey aren’t in love wi...

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