June 9, 2019
Do you ever feel like your marriage is in the doldrums … nothing spectacular … pretty lack luster? If so, join the many couples who are battling one of the most silent and devastating of all marital monsters: Boredoutofmindous. This monster’s deadly strategy is to lead unsuspecting spouses to look for someone or something else in order to find a sense of excitement.
Attacking this monster of boredom is tricky because we have to separate our feelings of safety and security from our feelings of boredom. The good news is we do have a sense of comfort and security that our marriages need to thrive in. The bad news is that our marriages can digress into a monotonous routine. The sameness that breeds security can morph into boredom that breeds seduction.
Walking through the motions of our everyday lives can become routine, and let’s face it, can be downright boring. Communication gets stale, passion putters, intimacy evaporates and vitality and enthusiasm dissipate. Every marriage is attacked by boredom … so … what can we do to stop it?
Start by asking: What were the things that we loved to do together that have given way to mundane routines? Can we revive them or replace them with some new adventures? I know a couple who used to enjoy lots of water sports but find those things too painful to do today. So they bought some kayaks and have discovered a whole new world of water adventure.
What are some essential rituals that have grown weary? What can we do to spruce them up or change them? You’ve established a great practice of a regular date night … the problem is it is always the same date … dinner and a movie. Why not spice it up with a night of bowling … or cooking a meal together?
What new relationships could we seek out that would help us not to be so one dimensional? When we’re not around other people the company we keep can get boring. Make an effort to meet some new people … join a small group at church … invite a neighbor over for some iced tea on your patio …
Buy season tickets to your favorite theater, garden, theme park or sports’ team … it will force you to get out and do something “new.”
What’s a common purpose that we can focus on together? Look for some ways you can serve others together. Go on a short term missions trip or volunteer at a local mission or community group. These opportunities will keep you from boredom and build your marriage.
Working out the answers to these questions will help you break through the boredom barrier. You will discover some new things you enjoy doing together which will spark a vitality in your marriage that you never knew was there.
