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7 Signs You Might be Smothering Your Spouse

Someone once said, “A relationship is like a blanket: It can leave us struggling for air, or enfold us in a warm, safe embrace.”

Over the last few weeks we’ve been looking at 50 ways to build your marriage.

Today, we’d like to look at the topic – loving vs. smothering in the relationship.

When you love someone, your desire to be with them is driven by your proper motives such as: your spouse’s best interests, generosity, care and concern. When you smother someone, your desire to be with them is driven by negative motivations such as: insecurity, selfishness and fear!

In I Corinthians 13 the Apostle Paul states, “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy … it is not self-seeking.”

So how do you know if you’re loving your spouse … or smothering your spouse? Here’s some thoughts to consider …

  1. Do you follow every single one of your spouse’s social media interactions?
  2. Do you have a little panic attack each time your spouse talks to a member of the opposite sex?
  3. Do you routinely check your spouse’s call logs and voicemail messages?
  4. If your husband / wife does not return your call/text within a few minutes, do you keep calling/texting until he or she does?
  5. Have you ever faked an illness/depression/miscellaneous ailment just to keep your spouse from leaving you?
  6. Do you routinely accuse your spouse of not spending enough time with you?
  7. Do you need constant reassurance that he/she loves you? Do you need to hear “I love you” at least a few times a day for certainty?

If you find yourself guilty of many of the behaviors on this list … it’s time to do face the fact you could be smothering your spouse … and not loving.

How can you change? Stop using love as way to control your spouse. Give space for the relationship to grow … you’ve all heard that absence makes the heart grow fonder!

Stop craving for attention … and begin focusing on the needs and wants of your spouse.

As you begin to do love the way the Apostle Paul shares in I Corinthians, you’ll find your intimacy will grow!

man with chains around him and women pulling the chain

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