I often hear couples say, “I’m married … but I’m lonely.”
My husband has time for work, sports, fishing, playing games with friends … but nothing for me.
My wife cares for the kids, talks forever with her girlfriends, finds time to exercise and have her “alone” time … but there’s nothing left for me.
We talk as a couple … but not about anything that’s important. We can’t share our hearts, emotions, fears and dreams without arguments erupting … so we simply stop communicating.
If you’re struggling with the pain of isolation, let me prescribe 6 “Cures” to bring back the intimacy you desire.
1st – Re-examine the Biblical basics of marriage. God clearly shares in Genesis that being “alone” wasn’t good for Adam. We’re to mirror the relationship of the Godhead … the 3 in 1 … not isolation.
2nd – Re-evaluate your Commitment. The Bible teaches, “For this reason a man and woman shall leave their father and mother … and cleave … to become one …” Marriage is built on a commitment to building oneness and intimacy.
3rd – Recognize your Selfishness. James 4:12 says, “We ‘war’ because we do not get what we want …” Paul reiterated in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing from vain conceit … but treat others as more important than yourself …” You need to own your personal responsibility that has added to the isolation.
4th – Re-Kindle your Spiritual Connection – Make sure your connection with God is where it needs to be. Start praying with, and for, each other on a regular basis. We can’t build the marriage we want without His help!
5th – Revitalize your Relational Skills. Communication, resolving conflict, and forgiveness are all skills that can be honed and refined. Read up on them … practice them … just like any other skill you’d like to see enhanced.
6th – Re-Prioritize your Time Together. Time is a powerful love language because it demonstrates priority. Plan for consistent times together – a daily check in … regular date nights … annual romantic getaway, etc.
I promise … you’ll see the cure for isolation begin to work as you follow this prescription …