One of the biggest causes of marital breakdowns … is a couple’s inability to resolve conflict effectively; and every married couple runs into conflict because …
Conflict is inevitable … two people who are in love … want each other to think and feel the same way about things … how to deal with money … how to deal with children … free time … and more!
The problem is … too many of us have come to believe that conflict is a bad thing … and that we should avoid it at all costs … but that’s not true … nor is it healthy for your marriage …
The truth is … conflict is a sign of connectedness … it says we have a vital relationship here … Remember – we rarely have conflicts with people we do not know or like.
But the most important thing we need to know about conflict is that it does not have to be negative! When we learn how to successfully resolve conflicts with our spouse … we discover new things about him or her that we didn’t know before (which is why we’re having the problem) … and that helps to deepen our intimacy.
To make conflict a productive force in our marriage we have to establish a “No Losers Policy.”
If you are “one,” a house divided against itself can’t stand. If you are a “team” … it is impossible for one member of a team to win while another member of that same team loses! You either both win … or you both lose … but there should never be an “I win – You lose” mentality allowed your marriage!
You both “win” when you both feel good about and agree together on the solution to your problem. Maybe one of you came up with the solution … that’s OK … as long as both of you willingly agree that it is the best solution … you have a win-win scenario! What will break down any marriage is the “my way or the highway” mentality!