We’re becoming a nation of rude, self-absorbed and spoiled “brats”! Our culture screams the mantra: “It’s all about me!”
While it remains to be seen if this attitude will foster a generation of self empowered people … it is absolutely evident that this outlook is creating a lethal environment for establishing Biblical marriages.
Some may think “Hey, the Bible tells us to love our neighbors and our spouses like we love ourselves and that’s true. But when we really drill down on the Biblical ideal of love, we discover that the core value of loving is giving … not getting.
And there’s the problem …we want to get all we can … while giving as little as possible. So, instead of giving all we can to our spouses … we take all we can get from them; and we feel cheated if our needs are not being met! That mindset spells disaster for any marriage.
So, if you’re longing to experience the marriage God wants you to enjoy … you’ll probably have to change your perspective. If you’ve been seeing your nuptials as all about you and your needs not being met, it’s time to flip the switch. Here’s what God is looking for:
Ephesians 5: 28 – 30: “In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.”
That process of “cherishing” starts when you see your beloved’s needs as more important than yours; and you realize that you won’t be happy until his or her needs are met before yours.
Here’s a foundational question to help clarify where you are: Do you know what your beloved needs?
If not, here are some questions you can ask him or her to help:
- What are your dreams and how can I help you fulfill them?
- What have I failed to do or say in our relationship?
- What can I stop doing that would help you feel more loved?
- What could I start doing to would help you feel more cherished by me?
Once you get the answers to these questions you can begin to develop a plan for cherishing your beloved that will lead to a marriage made in heaven!