Tips to Evaluate the State of Your Marital Union!

February 2, 2016

Two weeks ago the president delivered the State of the Union address … RELAX … I’m not here to discuss politics … but it got me thinking … what would I say if I had to deliver an annual assessment of my marital union … to Karen and the rest of our family.  So let me challenge you with those same thoughts …

These speeches always start with good news … the things we’re doing well and the things we can celebrate … how many of these can you say?

  • We’re communicating on a rapport (emotional) versus report (fact) level?
  • We’re making regular spiritual connections?
  • We’re making regular physical connections?
  • We resolve our conflicts / issues with win/win scenarios?
  • We’re an effective parenting team?
  • We enjoy regular “alone time” together?
  • We are serving the Lord together?
  • We feel “safe” to share how we really feel with each other …

Let’s go through that same list and see what things need to be strengthened … or improved …

Now it’s time to do a little strategic thinking … what are some threats to your marriage that may be lingering on the horizon?  There are active threats … things you are experiencing now … and future threats … the things you don’t even see coming …

  • Money: job changes, bankruptcy, retirement …
  • Parenting failures: your children’s failures
  • ex-spouses, step children, empty nest
  • In laws: your lack of “leaving,” and their intrusion, control
  • Addictions: alcohol, porn, romance, gambling, shopping
  • You’re having that same fight over and over again
  • Emotional … physical … spiritual intimacy
  • Leftovers: emotional baggage and unresolved issues from prior relationships
  • Broken Trust: hearts and eyes begin to wander, boredom, emotional or physical infidelity

Health: chronic conditions illness grows worse

Commitment erosion / apathy with God and spouse … stop caring

Changes in your & spouse’s needs … aging

Let me challenge you to spend some time this week as a couple to go over the state of your marital union … and to talk about how you plan to strengthen your strengths, minimize your weaknesses and eliminate those threats …

Sign Up

to recieve our weekly Marriage Devotional.


Further Reading

5 Commitments to a Successful Daily Check-In

January 7, 2021

Karen and I made a New Year’s resolution to do something we challenge all of our intensives couple...

Read Full Article

Has the Sizzle in Your Marriage Fizzled?

February 17, 2021

Have you ever found yourself comparing your marriage to somebody else’s and thinking … our marri...

Read Full Article

What is the Opposite of Love?

November 6, 2020

We see couples every weekend at our intensives that are struggling. Many saythey aren’t in love wi...

Read Full Article