Tips to Evaluate the State of Your Marital Union!

February 2, 2016

Two weeks ago the president delivered the State of the Union address … RELAX … I’m not here to discuss politics … but it got me thinking … what would I say if I had to deliver an annual assessment of my marital union … to Karen and the rest of our family.  So let me challenge you with those same thoughts …

These speeches always start with good news … the things we’re doing well and the things we can celebrate … how many of these can you say?

  • We’re communicating on a rapport (emotional) versus report (fact) level?
  • We’re making regular spiritual connections?
  • We’re making regular physical connections?
  • We resolve our conflicts / issues with win/win scenarios?
  • We’re an effective parenting team?
  • We enjoy regular “alone time” together?
  • We are serving the Lord together?
  • We feel “safe” to share how we really feel with each other …

Let’s go through that same list and see what things need to be strengthened … or improved …

Now it’s time to do a little strategic thinking … what are some threats to your marriage that may be lingering on the horizon?  There are active threats … things you are experiencing now … and future threats … the things you don’t even see coming …

  • Money: job changes, bankruptcy, retirement …
  • Parenting failures: your children’s failures
  • ex-spouses, step children, empty nest
  • In laws: your lack of “leaving,” and their intrusion, control
  • Addictions: alcohol, porn, romance, gambling, shopping
  • You’re having that same fight over and over again
  • Emotional … physical … spiritual intimacy
  • Leftovers: emotional baggage and unresolved issues from prior relationships
  • Broken Trust: hearts and eyes begin to wander, boredom, emotional or physical infidelity

Health: chronic conditions illness grows worse

Commitment erosion / apathy with God and spouse … stop caring

Changes in your & spouse’s needs … aging

Let me challenge you to spend some time this week as a couple to go over the state of your marital union … and to talk about how you plan to strengthen your strengths, minimize your weaknesses and eliminate those threats …

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