Have you ever lied to your spouse because you were afraid of the negative consequences? Do you ever find yourself hiding your true feelings because you’re fearful of what your spouse might think or feel about you?
If you’re like most of us the answer is an embarrassing “Yes!” And that means that we are not feeling totally safe in our marriages.
It seems to me that there should be no safer person on earth for me to be with than my wife!
I say that because God created us to be connected … we are created in His image and our marriages are to mirror the love that God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit have for each other … they are one … there is no fear … there are no secrets … they enjoy being together …
When God put Adam and Eve in the garden … they were naked and unashamed … they were totally open and honest … there was no fear …
Fear comes from the fall … when the first couple sinned they became afraid of God and each other. Satan was successful in not only breaking the relationship between God and man … but in shattering the beautiful intimacy that husband and wife were designed to experience … So … whenever we don’t feel safe in our marriages … we need to understand that we’re not were God wants us to be …because God has not given us a spirit of fear …
Here’s a definition of a safe marriage:
An emotionally safe marriage is one in which you feel safe enough to say what and how you truly feel, knowing that your spouse will make every attempt to understand … and may even come to respect your point of view.
It’s easy for us to blame our spouses for our not feeling safe … we think … if she didn’t have a such a quick temper … or if he would emotionally connect and really try to empathize … I’d feel safer …
The first question we want to ask is: “Am I a safe spouse?!” Does my life mate feel like he or she can be totally open and honest with me?
If not … ask the Lord to help you become a safe spouse …
