We’ve all heard that money issues are a major “causes” of divorce. Why is that? There are many reasons, but one is that couples grow up with different beliefs about money.
One spouse grew up in a family where they were willing to spend more to buy quality … while the other one’s family didn’t care about brand names and always bought the cheapest item.
Maybe one spouse gives money away to good causes … or loves to spend freely while the other miserly pinches every penny. Or one spouse loves to take financial risks… creating fear and anxiety in the other.
You get the picture – dealing with these conflicting ideas about money can be the source of many disagreements. Learning how to resolve the fighting over financial issues can actually help build marriages … here how:
First – God created “order” within a marriage – Eph. 5:22-33 and Col. 3:18-19 speak to this. Financial decisions, as all decisions in marriage, should be a shared responsibility. Both of you should be free to share your thoughts and concerns with respect and honor. Yet God places the ultimate responsibility for the family squarely on the husband.
Second – Communicating your differing views and opinions will help you learn more about each other and uncover your core values … and that’s a great way to deepen intimacy in your relationship. Pray together that God will open your hearts and minds to the best use of your finances … and that He will be glorified through them. You’ll be amazed to see how God works in your hearts and your check books.
Third – Track your results. Prov. 21:5 says, “The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.” By keeping good records of your finances and reviewing them monthly, you’ll keep yourselves accountable and be able to rejoice in your successes.
Finally – remember that our ultimate goal is to simply steward the funds God has given us. The money is God’s and not ours, so we should be liberal in our giving (Luke 6:33) … focused on eternal treasures (Matt. 6:19-20) … and keep money in its proper perspective (I Tim. 6:10).
Knee to knee … Nose to nose Questions:
What have you learned about each other as a result of talking (arguing) about money?
Talk about how you want to become better stewards of your God entrusted resources.
What do you want to do about giving to further God’s work? Who do you want to support? Why?