Am I a Selfish Spouse?

March 17, 2015

Here’s a challenging question to start off your week:  “Am I a Selfish Spouse?”

Can you relate to this?  You’re heading home after a long hard day at work; as you open the door the kids attack!  Bills, laundry, kids’ baths and bedtime, and a dog walk are all on your evening’s agenda.

After an exhausting three hours, dinner is cleaned up, bills are paid and the kids are all snug in their beds.  Ahhh … you collapse into your favorite chair … remote in hand … ready to watch your favorite show.  Then you hear it … the biggest question of the day:

“Honey can you come downstairs to help me with …” (an exciting project that you’re not thrilled about!)

Immediately you think … Noooo!  …  You’ve got to be kidding … I’ve worked hard all day!  I deserve this “me time” to unwind!

Then you remember:  “Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves.  (Phil 2:3)

We get so focused on what we’re doing, that we fail to realize that our spouses have long hard days too.  We forget that they need “me time.”  It is their “me time” and they want to share it with us.

I don’t know about you but I am often guilty of considering myself … more than I am at considering Karen.  I need to start looking for ways to put her needs before mine.

As you desire to grow the intimacy in your marriage, the words of Phil 2:3 ring out loud and true.  When you begin to consider your spouse … you begin to look at life through his/her perspective.  You begin to evaluate situations in a whole new way.

This week – begin to ask yourself, “What would our marriage look like if I put my spouse’s needs over my own?”

Knee to Knee, Nose to Nose Questions

What would our marriage look like if we put each other’s needs over our own?

Write the top 5 “to-do” items you want to get done at home.  Are they for you or for your spouse?

Have a discussion with your spouse about the things that matter to him/her.  Focus on trying to meet those needs this coming week.

Share with each other some ways you feel selfish in your relationship.  Talk about how you can work together to consider each other.

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