In the past, we have talked about the danger that TV nudity brings into our homes. That has led to a discussion here at The Marriage Hub about the other side of that coin, the dangers of so-called romance novels.
This is a challenging topic because it’s not as black and white as nudity. There are many shades of gray that fall under the moniker of romance novel. Anything from soft porn with its explicit sex scenes to volumes of Christian romance highlighting breathless kissing. So what’s good to read? Here are some warning signs for dangerous works of fiction.
- Reading erotic novels is always dangerous. These tales are written to be sexually stimulating. They’re characterized as soft porn, and many women find themselves more aroused by reading this material than they would be watching porn. So how is a woman who devours novel after novel different from a man who consistently watches porn? I’m not sure. Erotica will ultimately undermine your physical intimacy, so avoid this fiction at all cost.
- Romance novels that awaken marital dissatisfaction. If your marriage is not in a good place and you’re reading romance to escape from your feelings of marital dissatisfaction, you’re not helping your marriage. You’re undermining it even more. Any stories that stir up or create more displeasure with your spouse or your marriage are dangerous.
- Tales that give unbiblical and unrealistic view of love stories, that portray an unrealistic or unbiblical view of what love is supposed to be are toxic to your marriage. The characters of these stories experience love as an overwhelming emotional force that completely consumes them and sweeps them away. God’s design for Marriage love contains Eros, that romantic and passionate physical love, but it also contains Phileo, the deep friendship love, and Agape, the unconditional, unbreakable love. The idea that a superficial feeling based love is enough to make a marriage last is truly a fairy tale where the two are not going to live happily ever after.
Paul in Philippians 4:8 admonishes us to fill our minds with whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable. If there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
A Reader Shares the Secret Emotional Needs of Men … A Must Read!
