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The Marriage Monster – Boredom

Do you ever feel like your marriage is in the doldrums? Nothing spectacular? Pretty lackluster? If so, join the many couples who are battling one of the most silent and devastating of all marital monsters…bored-out-of-my-mindness. This monster’s deadly strategy is to lead unsuspecting spouses to look for something or someone else in order to find a sense of excitement. Attacking this monster of boredom is tricky because we have to separate our feelings of safety and security from our feelings of boredom. The good news is we have a sense of comfort and security that our marriages need to thrive in. The bad news is our marriages can digress into a monotonous routine. The same mind that breeds security can morph into boredom that breeds seduction. Walking through the motions of our everyday lives can become routine, and they can become downright boring. Communication gets stale, passion putters, intimacy evaporates and vitality and enthusiasm dissipate. Every marriage is attacked by boredom. So what can we do to stop it?

Start by asking, what were the things that we love to do together that have given way to mundane routines? Can we revive them or replace them with some new adventures? I know a couple who used to enjoy lots of water sports, but find those things too painful to do today. So they bought some kayaks and have discovered a whole new world of water adventure.

What are some of the essential rituals that may have grown stale and what can you do to spruce them up or change them? You’ve established a great practice of regular date nights. The problem is it’s always the same date, dinner and a movie. Why not change things up a little bit with a night of bowling or spice things up by cooking a meal together?

What new relationships could we seek out that would help us not be so one dimensional? You know, when we’re not around other people, the company we keep can get boring. Make an effort to meet some new folks. Maybe you might join a small group at church or invite a neighbor over for some iced tea on your patio.

Another way to spruce things up in your life might be to buy some season tickets to your favorite theater, garden theme park or sports team that’s going to force you to get out and do some new things.

But probably the most important way to combat boredom is to look for a common purpose that you two can focus on together. Look for some ways you can serve others. Maybe you want to go on a short term missions trip or volunteer at a local mission or community group. These are opportunities that will keep you from boredom and build your marriage. Working out these answers to these questions will help you break through the boredom barrier. You’ll discover some new things that you might enjoy doing together, which is going to spark vitality in your marriage that you never knew was even there.

 

Is Boredom Beating Your Marriage?

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Almost 65% of the couples attending a marriage intensive retreat with The Marriage Hub are given some sort of financial needs based scholarship. Without those funds, we would not be able to save their marriage.

The Marriage Hub is the marriage ministry of House on the Rock Family Ministries, a registered 501c3 organization. All donations are tax deductible.

Checks can be mailed to: The Marriage Hub – 18 N Market Street, Elizabethtown, PA 17022

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