I find it interesting that we, as Christian married couples, struggle to develop and strengthen our spiritual intimacy within our relationships. There are many reasons for this, but one big one might be our inability to understand and appreciate our spouse’s spiritual language. If you’re familiar with the love languages, you know that your primary love language isn’t always the same as your spouse’s. The same is true with how each of us walk with and relate to God. There are a wonderful variety of ways to relate to Him, and they’re equally compelling. But I want us to look at six of these spiritual love languages today that we’ve adapted from Gary Thomas’s book, Sacred Pathways.
The first one is our traditions and spiritual disciplines. Those who walk the path of tradition, love God through ritual, sacraments and symbols. Their life of faith is usually marked through the structure and discipline, the routine, such as a daily prayer time, devotional time, contemplation and regular church attendance.
Second, spiritual language is fellowship with God’s people. When you walk the pathway of fellowship, you love God by being around other people who love God too. These people struggle to pray on their own and flourish in prayer with a group who shares their same spiritual journey. They are energized by the socialization that happens at church gatherings and feel closest to God when they’re with others who love God too.
Third would be the intellectual pursuit. Some folks love God through their intellectual pursuit of Him. They delight in studying theology and acquiring and absorbing biblical knowledge. Using their minds brings them closer to God. Their faith is something that they need to analyze and be understood as much as it is to be experienced.
The fourth spiritual love language is those who serve the needy and fight for justice. Those who love to serve God by meeting the needs of others are those who speak this language. You will often find these people walking the pathway of service through being busy helping others, feeding the hungry, taking care of the sick and their forgotten caregivers. They feel closest to God when they’re ministering to the needs of others. The activists, on the other hand, feels closest to God when they’re fighting for a cause. They want to battle the injustices that are in our society. Activists are often energized by their situations that they take against stands of evil in our culture and our society. They resonate with Jesus when he cleanses the temple, and they aspire to change the world with their heartfelt convictions.
The fifth spiritual love language is those who enjoy nature and creation. If you find yourself thinking about and loving God more as you take a walk through the woods or spend time on the water or simply enjoying a beautiful landscape, you’re one who probably seeks the love of God in nature. The Bible tells us that the heavens declare the glory of God and inspire our belief and faith.
Finally, the last one is for those of you who love to worship. Those folks who are inspired by joyful celebration. Worshipers demonstrate their love for God by singing, clapping their hands, and verbally affirming what they hear in terms of amens. They don’t need rituals as much as they need to celebrate the love, grace and glory of God.
So understanding your partner’s spiritual language is an important lesson in your relationship. When you can recognize the different ways you both relate best to God, the more your shared spiritual intimacy can deepen.
