When’s the last time you told your spouse, “I like it when you…” Why that question? Because too many marriages are characterized by negative and blaming phrases like “You never do this for me” or “you’re always doing this wrong”. This negative attitude and tone does nothing positive to build your marriage, so why not try something new?
Whenever your spouse does something that you do appreciate, share that with him or her using the phrase “I like it when you…” Every successful marriage is characterized by acts of kindness shared between spouses. Loving actions. Gentle or encouraging words. A surprise gift. Spending time together. Physical contact. All of these things make us feel loved and cared for. But let’s be honest, we’re not mind readers. So why not help your spouse learn how to show you love by reinforcing those loving things with a little phrase? “I like it when you do this”. “I like it when you’re gentle and understanding“. “I like it when you encourage me“. “I like it when we do this together“. “I like it when you give me a spontaneous hug and a kiss“.
So let’s set a goal. Look for the little things this week that make your heart smile when your spouse does them and affirm them by saying, “I like it when you…” And then fill in what just happened. You know, it’s not the once a year big gift or special event that builds a marriage. It’s those little things that happen every day, week after week that build love and intimacy. So let’s consider getting in the habit of communicating…” I like it when you do that.”