We work with many couples who are experiencing challenging marriages after they attend one of our intensives. They realize how their marriage slips slowly into the crisis situation that brought them to us. They had let things get too far out of hand. They slipped back into a rut.
So here are some thoughts to help us from letting things get too far:
1. Keep a close relationship with God. Don’t fall for all the misleading messages within our culture that foster “stinking thinking” things that tell us to leave our spouse or to end our marriage. Spend time in God’s Word and with his people. Folks who will speak truth into your hearts and lives and keep your relationship right with God. The number one cause of all marital separation is rooted deep in sin. So remember the promise of I John 1:9, that if we confess our sin, he (God) is faithful and just to forgive us, our sins, to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
2. Keep maintaining your marriage relationship. When the church at Ephesus fell from her first love, Jesus gave them the three R’s remedy. Remember, repent and return. So first, take some time to remember back to the good old days when you were head over heels in love. I know that love’s not just a feeling, but the committed relationship of a marriage is the best place to nurture and maintain those loving feelings. Second, repent. That means to turn around. So if you’re not feeling it, which is normal, stop and identify those things that are taking you away from each other. Do an about-face and start moving towards each other. And finally, return to doing the things that you did at first. Start acting as if you’re trying to win back the affection of your spouse’s heart all over again. Do some of that dating stuff. A little flirting, a lot of talking, some hugging and kissing and see if those loving feelings don’t start coming back.
